Fear and trembling
By Mathias Weststrate (General Manager)
I am heading to Hammanskraal, on just one of many trips this week. Yesterday afternoon, Mma (Mrs.) Rebecca messaged me. She has a question she wants to ask me in person. She has been taking in-depth Bible education for several months now and always listens attentively, eagerly takes notes, and often asks for extra Bible verses on the subject. After a 45-minute drive, I arrive at her little house. She is already waiting for me. I am invited to take a seat on her couch; a glass of homemade mango juice and some cookies are already waiting for me. A generous gesture, because apart from that, everything looks shabby.
Restless
She begins to speak. She tells me about her children, all the places she has lived, her struggles and sorrows. I listen and wait patiently. When will she bring up her pressing question? After more than an hour, there is still no question, just a stream of words. I make an attempt, “Mma, I have listened to everything you told me, but how are you doing?” It remains quiet. She stares ahead for a while. Then she turns her face toward me and says, “Bad. The Bible classes are making me very restless. One subject keeps weighing on my mind: am I born again?”
Shok
How should I answer that? It is a very direct question for this culture. It is clear that the Bible education has an effect, at least intellectually. While I ponder, she fortunately continues speaking of her own accord. “I have become 60, I have attended every church in Hammanskraal, but I have never heard that I am not automatically born again. I do not know how long I have left to live. But I must have an answer to this question, otherwise I cannot die. For dying means meeting God as Judge.” She honestly admits, “When you explained this, I felt incomprehension, because you took everything away from me. It was a shock to me. Honestly, what the Bible teaches about my heart and existence is true. And that makes me tremble.”
Explanation
She continues, “Would you explain to me again what regeneration is?” I try to explain simply that man is created in God’s image. We lost this image through the fall in Adam. Because of this, there has come a separation between us and God, and we cannot undo this. A regenerated person learns that and becomes very sad about it.
The Bible tells us that we must be born again, born from and through God. Something changes in our thinking, actions, and behavior. Regeneration is like the birth of a child. Although you do not know this child yet, there is an inexplicable love for this child. In the same way, there arises an inexplicable love for God and, at the same time, a great sorrow. For you have lost that God because of your sins. And then you wish you could do anything to solve that. But you are going to learn that that is not possible. It becomes impossible. This causes such distress that it becomes your greatest concern. You begin to learn to pray and plead. God's Word becomes precious, and you gladly attend Bible classes to receive instruction. There you also hear that there is indeed a way. A way that springs from God and not from man. When you hear that, something leaps up inside you. And you wish you could know that Way. But how?
Thus I leave Mma Rebecca behind again with the feeling of having failed, but with a prayer in my heart that the Lord will truly open her eyes and that she may experientially learn to fear and tremble, as Paul taught. Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men (2 Cor. 5:11a).
